Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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