yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
