they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
