Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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