ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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