This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.