We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
