Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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