Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
