so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize