I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
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