I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
