Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize