I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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