i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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