Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
