Christians are straight up FREAKS
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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