all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
