I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
