shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
