So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize