if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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