just tell him i said nine months
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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