1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
