Tell her she can't have a vagina
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Alive.
So much puke
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
