Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
