I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
