he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
