i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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