Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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