I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
