so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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