On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
