I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
