wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
