Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
