A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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