it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
COCAINE IS GR8
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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