I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
