We got so high we made milksteak
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize