dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you never un-have a 4some
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
