You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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