Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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