I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
