at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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