I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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