it was like eating out sand paper
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
