would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
