He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize