I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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