I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
