This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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