it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize