I will die if light touches me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I lost the right to judge tonight
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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