remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
