i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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