so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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