"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
