White coat. Heels.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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