I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
