dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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