I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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