clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
